Church Of Happiness™  (formerly known as church of bob, church of ted, church of bill)
"We won't disagree with you ... no matter what you say or believe"
"The Church it pays to be a member of!"

The Basics:
"No matter what you say or believe, we won't disagree with you or try to convert you to our beliefs, whatever they may be."
"We try not to discuss sex, politics, religion, global warming nor anything politically-controversial"
"Don't ask, don't tell...depending on the circumstances."
"All that is good, isn't all good. All that is bad, isn't all bad."
"One path toward happiness is through creativity. Create something that does good, not evil."
"The more good that you do, the more goodness will come into your life."
"Consider living by the theory that maybe there's something going on that you don't know about." Corollary: "There might be information that you don't have, you might be wrong, maybe you should keep your opinion to yourself and do more research." Some people say kooky things just to get media attention - much like a radio shock jock, or a television talk show host trying to build-up an audience by creating attention to himself with sensationalism or who actually believes that everything he/she reads on the internet is true."
"Don't put too much 'weight' to the words that others say." They might just be 'kidding around' or trying to 'test the waters' as to what your opinions are."
"Don't be judgmental, don't be hating. Have forgiveness and understanding as part of your personal core values."
"During a confrontation, stop talking and start listening. You might be 'wrong'. "
"Speak in sound-bites, or at least try to."
"Don't confuse others. Instead of saying: 'keep your eye on the ball' say: 'keep watching the ball at all times.'"
"Instead of saying: "Words unspoken you are master of", say: "Once you've said it, you can't take it back. Think before you speak anything".
"Instead of saying: 'Americans are stupid and uninformed', say: 'Sometimes a complicated issue needs simple clarification to be understood', for example a fundamentalist of a religion versus a follower or member of a religion. There is a huge difference,"
"Whenever speaking on the phone to a customer service person, pay attention that you are always speaking calmly. Never let any emotion show in your voice. And be pleasant and courteous to avoid frustration."
"Don't believe everything that you see on the internet. Be more skeptical."
"Just because you convinced a million people to believe what you believe, doesn't necessarily make it true."
"Just because something appears to be a coincidence - or that a 'chance meeting' was 'meant to be' - doesn't mean it really is. It could simply be a case of stalking."
"Puppies and Rainbows™" is a Church of Happiness motto.
"You don't have to be a 'good Christian' to be a good, forgiving person, tolerant of others' mistakes or decisions." However, organized religion is an efficient delivery-system for teaching folks how to be nice, similar to how enriched milk is an effective delivery-system for vitamins that malnourished kids might otherwise not get. Organized religion is good for keeping social order and teaching the masses how to 'play nice'."
"We believe that 'The Truth' might be in shades of gray, not black and white, which would be much easier."
 "Avoid 'labeling' people. It only exposes that you are an insecure person that has to control others to feel good about yourself."
"Our so-called 'religion' is not trying to control the world as many organized religions appear to be. We just try to make the world a happier, more logical & sane place where members of one religion don't 'judge' (or try to kill) members of another faith."
"Nothing happens until somebody creates or starts something. Things don't start themselves. People start things."
"Be mindful of the distractions that keep you from being creative, or getting the job done."
"Have the right skills for the job."
"Have the right tools for the job."
"Have the right connections (people that will assist you / network) to help you get the tools or learn the skills to accomplish the job."
"Have the right connections to help you get the job. If people know that you're a great (chef, mechanic, housecleaner, dentist) they'll tell their friends."
"Familiarity breeds contempt." "Don't get too familiar, you might discover mediocrity; others might discover yours!"
"Learn how to make good judgments without being judgmental."
"You 'are' the company you keep. You are judged by the people that you surround yourself with, whether you like it or not."
"Happiness is a choice"
"If someone keeps repeating the same story over and over, just listen. Don't interrupt and say 'you said that before'. The reason someone repeats a story - when they are trying to teach you something - is because they know that you haven't learned the lesson from the parable that they are explaining. Being too quick to judge or jump to a conclusion labels you as unenlightened."
"There can be no laughter without freedom"
"There are no homosexual people, only people who do homosexual acts."
"If you can't be interesting, be brief."
"Don't watch horror movies nor influence your thoughts with evil or negativity."
"Be good at something. Anything. Just be really, really good at it."
"Don't steal. Ever."
"Don't criticize. Ever. If you don't like your grandson's long hair, keep that bit of negative judgment to yourself. If you share it with him, you will simply build a wall that will block future communication with him. That's not good. And that's partly why there's so many messed-up rich families in America: poor communication."
"Don't hate rich people. Don't hate poor people. Don't hate fat people. Just choose not to hate."
"See 'The Bright Side' of things."
"Believe in something...anything. Whether it's a god, yourself, your commitment to your tan, something. Anything. Just look to the future and have faith and hope and you will indeed have a happy life!"
"Be creative and creating something. Anything. Or at least be thinking about it."
"Be nice and help other people. Don't expect anything in return. Just be nice if the opportunity presents itself. It will make you happy!"
"Dare to think original thoughts."
"Believe that you can succeed and be happy, and then you will!"
"Try to surround yourself with smart people and people you can trust that care about your best interests. Know the difference."
"You better learn and have skills. If you don't have skills, you better have excellent connections. Connections are just as valuable as skills."
"People who trust you and you trust them are valuable assets."
"Consider the source. If you suspect that the provider of the information is not trustable, the info that they teach you might not be fully accurate."
"Information wants to be free. If you create a business venture on the premise that you have information that you are going to hide from your partner, ultimately that business with either fail or have challenges that don't need to exist. This applies to business and organized religion. If you are trying to make a business venture by hiding information from your partner you are being deceitful."
"Business partnerships or personal partnerships still need freedom and autonomy."
"If you have to bind your customers into a contract, then you aren't truly selling them benefits. Like a membership at a bad gym."
"Be able to give and accept money knowing that there are no strings attached - no hidden expectations."
"If someone gives you money and tells you that it is from The Church Of Happiness, just smile and say 'thank you' ".
"Sharing your money or information brings you more money and information, and ultimately more happiness."
"Make sure to communicate in a way that your audience can understand your message. Speak in understandable sound bites, not metaphors."
"Your actions have consequences."
"Your intentions have consequences."
"Believe in the power of attracting good things and good people into your life."
 

About the Church of Happiness...self-funded and run by a philanthropist. Not a 501(c)3 charitable organization. We pay tax on all income but answer to no one and don't request donations. Our mission is simply to spread peace and happiness. Life doesn't have to be so hard when you understand that you can manifest (create) your own happiness with happy, positive thought and actions.